its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
being pregnant is like rehab
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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