if i died would you start the facebook group?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
