i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
