please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
