Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize