We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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