I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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