I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
