he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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