i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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