She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
