The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
