pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
God I need to hump something, right now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize