he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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