whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
