I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
