dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
