Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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