she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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