I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
