im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
