I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
