We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
