mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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