okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She swung at the pinata with crutches
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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