His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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