My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
