We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize