I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
