yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize