Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
