I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
