I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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