After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Two words: blizzard sex
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
