Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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