she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
