I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
