Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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