Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
