I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
please come you make the beer taste better
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
porn star boner night. come get it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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