She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
