I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My vagina is very pro this idea
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
