Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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