someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
