I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
