This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize