I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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