Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
