you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
