We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
high people should be assigned attendants
time to smoke my breakfast
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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