YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
