Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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