I'm really into asian looking animals
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
