wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
