look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
