Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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