Don't you send me to vm
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
