Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
