He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize