Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
